A parent's vision for my child
This is Part Five in a series in which I'm taking off the Consultant’s hat off for a bit in order to let the Parent’s hat show through. Being a dad of four, it is ground I’ve covered for several years, though with no shortage of shortcomings and mistakes. As a school leader, I’ve been around even more of what comes with helping kids grow up. Here at Christmas, I’ve brought my own experience in more than usual, and that experience includes spiritual dimensions which are an important part of my own reality. I hope these posts may be of some interest, and perhaps a slight bit of help. {Part One} {Part Two} {Part Three} {Part Four}
This last installment is about vision. What is our vision for parenting? What is our vision for our children?
What might it be? Does a mom want her daughter to grow up to be a doctor? Does a dad want his son to join him in the family business? Do I want my child to have athletic successes which I had, or ones I didn’t have? Do you dream of academic or artistic successes for your child? Do we want him to be happy or popular or well-to-do or admired or any number of other laudable possibilities?
What if our objective as parents is to pursue the fullness of God’s created intent for our children? Are these just vague words, or might they make a life-giving difference for my child?
The first installment in this series of parenting articles dealt with being a student of my child, knowing deeply who he is uniquely. This is pursuing the fullness of God’s created intent for my child. The second article talked about parenting as a verb, being active and decisive and sometimes unpopular in my willingness to limit and direct my child. The connection here is that God’s plan for my child is not revealed or encouraged by passing whims and foolish freedoms. God’s plan is truly freeing, but it is a course of discipline and intentionality. As a parent, I look for and help my child look for his unique gifts and interests and abilities. I lead him to pursue this divine design, rather than just go with the flow of passing desires or the pounding waves of peer pressure.
The third article was about encouraging intrinsic motivation for our children. Exploring and nurturing exactly who God made them to be is a search for just that kind of motivation. The fourth article focused on asking for and extending forgiveness. Any pursuit of God’s design for my child must prominently include an appreciation of the thoroughgoing and deeply rooted character of God’s grace.
Pursuing the fullness of God’s created intent for my child is not just a repetition of all these other points, but rather a plan of action through which they are realized. It is vitally important to understand that this pursuit is not an obstacle course plotted by a cruel creator. God is not waiting with traps when my child and I waiver from perfect recognition of the path. Instead, this is a path of discovery, finding the gifts of grace in personality and ability, aptitude and attitude which the Lord has liberally given to my child as His loving creation.
God’s design for my child has multiple facets like a diamond ready to be discovered in its full beauty. The pursuit of that full beauty is the awesome calling God gives us in the incredible privilege of parenting.