Do you ever get anxious about your kids?
{This is a repost of an earlier article. The “School-Age Parent” series will resume soon. Enjoy!}
About that headline? Do you want to tell me — of course, you ninny? OK. Me too. We’ll come back to that.
Do you remember when you were single and didn’t have children yet? Grown up, but not yet responsible for young lives? I know I worried then, too, about career, relationships, money, and a host of other things. But I also know it was different.
Jesus says, in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 6:25 and following), “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?” And He goes on to tell us about the birds of the air and the flowers of the field. God cares for them; don’t you think He will care for you?
Without kids to care for, I could hear that a lot differently. Sometimes, I really could rest in faith that the Lord had cared for me, was caring for me, and wasn’t going to stop caring for me. I really didn’t have to worry and, if I did, I couldn’t “add a single hour to my life.”
Now, is it different with children of my own? Sure, it’s different in a thousand ways. One is that I can come closer to understanding God the Father’s incredible love for me. What wouldn’t I give to care for my children? What wouldn’t I sacrifice for their good So I do understand a little bit more of the love the Father has for me.
It should be easier to trust His love and care for me and for my kids, right? Maybe for you, I don’t know, but not for me. I’m really not the kind of person wired for worrying, but I can hit an anxiety level pretty quickly when it’s my children’s welfare that’s in question.
OK, God, I’ll trust you for me, but not for my kids. I know you love me; I’ll believe you love them; but do you really expect me to trust them to your care? That’s what my heart is saying, even though my lips wouldn’t want to admit it. I can’t trust them to your care; I have to take care of them myself. I have to control their circumstances so they won’t hurt, and so they will flourish, and so they will be OK.
Is that really what I believe? I must, because that’s how I act. I worry when I can’t assure their happiness. I am anxious when their choices are so obviously outside of my control. I can’t rest peacefully when something that matters a lot to them is in question.
Are they OK with their friends? Is their teacher treating them right? Will they make the choices which are good for them? Will they be OK when they’re sick? Will they learn like they’re supposed to so they can succeed like I want them to? Will they get in to the college that is best for them? Can we afford to send them?
Caring, crying, planning, praying, supervising, advocating, teaching, admonishing, warning, working and striving don’t equal worrying. I do all of those and more for my kids. But, if I’m honest, I have to admit I also worry. I think I need to be in control of their well-being for things to be OK.
So, do I? Does God care, and can He take care of them? Can I trust Him? Can I experience His peace, even when it comes to my kids? The truth is — YES —but the reality is that it’s a good idea to have a few parent-friends to pray with and encourage you. There are times when you don’t stop believing it, but it’s still hard to live it. Let’s be there for each other sharing the words of comfort and confidence that we can, in fact, trust the Lord for our kids!